Restraint

I showed more restraint today than I knew that I had.

As any regular readers know, I've had some...er...difficulties with my thesis advisors. They've finally stepped up, now that I have less than two weeks before I need to turn in my thesis to the committee. I must say that one of them has been pretty good about getting me comments on my thesis chapters, but the other one has not. Today's frustration is related to the other one.

We had a pretty good meeting this morning to solidify my ideas about the AGN that I'm studying, especially some of the history that I'd been having a hard time pinning down through article searches.

However, at the close of the meeting, as my advisor was leaving the conference room, I commented something about giving up sleep for the next two weeks. My advisor stopped and something along the lines of, "You know, I was talking with my spouse this weekend, saying that I didn't think I was doing enough to help Galaxy Girl out with the writing of her thesis. My spouse replied, 'You know, I think Galaxy Girl and I are a bit alike. I tend to procrastinate, but in the end I get it all done.' So, my spouse thinks you'll get this all done."

Are you fraking kidding me? *My* procrastination is the thing that's put me behind???? For real?

Let's look at a timeline of my writing process, shall we?

• First draft of Ch 2 sent Oct 12. Advisor's first comments on Nov 20.
• First draft of Chapter 3 sent Jan. 6. Advisor's comments Feb. 7.
• First draft of Chapter 4 sent Jan 26. Advisor's comments Feb 27.
• First draft of Chapter 5 sent Feb. 12. Advisor's comments Feb 27.

So, it has taken this advisor between 1 and 1.5 months to get me comments on chapters. As long, or longer, than I spent writing the darn things. So, really? It's my procrastination that has put the writing process off??

I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying anything as my advisor left the room. But I knew that if I said anything that I would regret it. I'm too exhausted and emotionally drained to have a good filter on my mouth, so it was better to just keep my mouth shut. I have to say, though, that it took every ounce of restraint that I have.

One more month. One more month.